I want to blog regularly.... But I am writing this after 18 months. I did not realize this. Phew!
I always liked the subject "conflict". How it happens? What type of people creates it? What situations trigger conflict?
In my early career I loved to see "conflict" at work and even at times dragged to it unknowingly. I always thought that was the way to show aggression, to put across a point or a tool to not bend self or to score a point on someone. During this period of my career, I thought this is the way to get good recognition but then created maximum hatred. I looked back and realised that it never created any wealth but destruction in the long run.
As per me, creating conflict is natural behavior of few people and also few creates it for individual /selfish -materialistic benefits knowingly. I changed myself drastically when I reflected the simple advice given by mother who died in her 30s when I was a child. She advised me to observe a person in a very simple way .... see how he/she behaves when crossing someone... as per her three situations can happen. First, both will stop for a second and give way. Second, one will stop automatically and the other will pass without a smile, greeting or eye to eye contact. Third, both will not stop and will cross same time. The judgement to first situation is both are genuine and gentle, second, one who stops is gentle/cultured while the other is aggressive and in the third both are aggressive and can create instant conflict. Identify those and be away!!! I related this to day to day life in various ways. You can see people seeking permission and creating consensus whereas few pouncing on you. Why is this behavior? Why cant people be patient, content and create consensus? I could not find the answer till today and if that was found, conflict at work place, family, country and in the world would not have been there.
Thus, I strongly belief that conflict is always created by people purposely for some sort of gain........ every thing ........difference of opinion, different perspectives or beliefs OR expectation. There is no situation where one cannot find a solution patiently and amicably. If we look at Mahabharatha , we can see conflicts being created at many places. There are personalities like Sakuni only to create conflict - guiding benefit but resulting in destruction overall later. You may see this kind of personalities in our walks of life and they will create conflicts continuously. How do you identify and treat them is one of the capability one should develop.
As per me, constructive criticism should always be encouraged and not "conflict". The meaning of conflict - to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash; to fight or contend; do battle; fight, battle, or struggle, especially a prolonged struggle; strife; controversy; quarrel,conflicts between parties;discord of action, feeling, or effect; antagonism or opposition, as of interests or principles; a conflict of ideas; collision; incompatibility or interference, as of one idea, desire, event, or activity with another - all are negative. I hate conflict and over the years, I realized that conflict only leads to destruction - even there could be some short term gain - and it is never constructive.
